mememakermes

I don’t always talk too much, but when I do I do my best to get right to the damn point instead of talking the moon right out of the sky for 45 minutes without managing to even give a hint of what it is I have on my mind, like the poor schmuck I’m talking to has all day to listen to my brain salad vomit all over him and everyone else in the room.

Seriously, what is it with people who waste your time yammering along like a 24-hour newscaster trying to just fill time when there really isn’t anything of substance to say? It’s not my fault they don’t have lives; they don’t have to treat me like I don’t have one either.

"if you weren't fortunate enough to get tickets to the super bowl......"-----newscaster

false: I'm fortunate to not give a fuck about the super bowl,

They wanted me to go to church

There ain't no more church

Whenever i watch our local morning newscast this time of year, and the huge sports fan news anchor, and the "sports analyst" are discussing an upcoming, or recently played football game, with all the seriousness as if it were some important global issue, including how "paaaaiiiinnnnfullllll" a loss was

and I think, wtf?!? it's just fucking football. it's just a fucking game. it's just fucking stupid-ass sports

This piss is so cold

Even bear grylls doesn't wanna drink it