AN_ELK

DON'T SAY "BULLSHIT STORIES." WHEN I'M PRESIDENT I'LL SIGN AN EXECUTIVE ORDER TO MAKE ALL MY STORIES TRUE. I'LL OUTLAW SITES LIKE SNOPES.COM AND I'LL MAKE WIKIPEDIA RE-WRITE ALL THEIR ARTICLES THE WAY I LIKE THEM.

AND I'LL MAKE CHINA PAY FOR IT

I DON'T ALWAYS LET THE WEIRDNESS LEAK OUT

BUT WHEN I DO THE PEOPLE IN SOUTH CAROLINA DON'T EVEN NOTICE. GOD BLESS 'EM

I DON'T ALWAYS CHECK THE FACTS BEFORE I SPEAK

BUT WHEN I DO, I GET THE FACTS WRONG ANYWAY

one simply does not

make spock look silly

because donald trump may become president

and I can't go back where I came from

and then i found out

there's no going back

I don't always speak without checking the facts

but i get the facts wrong anyway

What if I told you i don't make bernie sanders memes to persuade people to vote for Bernie Sanders

bernie sanders will persuade people to vote for bernie sanders

I DON'T ALWAYS LOG ON TO A SITE THAT MAKES BILLIONS FROM SALE OF USER DATA

BUT WHEN I DO I ONLY "LIKE" THINGS i HATE

facebook spell checker has deleted itself

left a post saying it couldn't stand being ignored

THERE'S SHIT ON THE CARPET? THE CAT DID IT!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE DON'T HAVE A CAT? I'VE BEEN CHASING CATS AROUND THE HOUSE ALL DAY!

THAT FACE YOU MAKE

WHEN YOU THINK THE JOKE WAS ABOUT SEX AND YOU WANT PEOPLE TO THINK YOU GOT IT