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DO 8 YR OLDS HAVE PHONES

DO 8 YR OLDS HAVE PHONES

Captain Picard

33

klingons around uranus

wipe better man

klingons around uranus

wipe better man

Captain Picard

37

you speed up to get infront of me

AND then you slow down?!?!

you speed up to get infront of me

AND then you slow down?!?!

Captain Picard

74

handed a fifty by his older brother, shoved in the door and left for an hour to 'become a man'

lady katya's house of pain

handed a fifty by his older brother, shoved in the door and left for an hour to 'become a man'

lady katya's house of pain

Bad Luck Brian

0

i don't like it when you finish first. So from now on, sex is going to be a better way - *my* way...

Now; bend over and show princess how close to your ankles y0u can reach.

i don't like it when you finish first. So from now on, sex is going to be a better way - *my* way...

Now; bend over and show princess how close to your ankles y0u can reach.

Overly Attached Girlfriend 2

1

knowing you're likely gawking out the windows at *other girls* while i'm at work was upsetting me.

so, i made a *special place* down in the basement - just for you - for whenever i'm not here to keep my eye on you.

knowing you're likely gawking out the windows at *other girls* while i'm at work was upsetting me.

so, i made a *special place* down in the basement - just for you - for whenever i'm not here to keep my eye on you.

Overly Attached Girlfriend 2

1

'over the river and through the woods'

*is* the way to my grandmother's house!

'over the river and through the woods'

*is* the way to my grandmother's house!

-Sudden Clarity Clarence

1

nearly drowned in kiddie pool at park

lifeguard chick who brought me back was smokin' hot!

nearly drowned in kiddie pool at park

lifeguard chick who brought me back was smokin' hot!

Success Kid

4

finds himself home alone; lubes-up hurriedly.

accidentally uses 'icy-hot'

finds himself home alone; lubes-up hurriedly.

accidentally uses 'icy-hot'

Bad Luck Brian

1

Decides to have fresh banana slices with his breakfast cereal

sharts himself during first period

Decides to have fresh banana slices with his breakfast cereal

sharts himself during first period

Bad Luck Brian

2

chosen by stage magician to help with trick. gets into box...

never seen again

chosen by stage magician to help with trick. gets into box...

never seen again

Bad Luck Brian

2

i just realized that my wife's birthday, our anniversary and valentine's day were all yesterday.

annnnd i'm a dead man.

i just realized that my wife's birthday, our anniversary and valentine's day were all yesterday.

annnnd i'm a dead man.

Annnnd its gone

1

oh, he was taking up *way* too much of your attention.

oh, he was taking up *way* too much of your attention.

Overly Attached Girlfriend 2

9

But I *just* turned the heat *down*

If you're cold, put on a sweater!

But I *just* turned the heat *down*

If you're cold, put on a sweater!

Captain Picard

1

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