Old man river is that rare individual that will gives advice on being a 'real' man while schooling you in the art of angling. All those years of wisdom and ruggedness, probably makes this character to insane to be trusted to be let lose in the modern world. Sure, he'd could fix the worlds problems but it would likely start a third world war and make every butthurt dweller, all the trolls and the forever alone characters, even the annoying facebook girl into a group comparable to the special forces that handled Osama. But no, this is your job, he is to busy thinking of fishing and sex. not to busy to give his thoughts, crazy as they may be. old man river never changes that smile.