yesterday a toddler called me a bad guy / and i only cried for 2 hours
A Tough Spongebob post.
You've been told off for something small, and your reply is a perfectly calm, tragically minor boast. The bedtime was 10:00, you stayed up until 10:05, and you want that on the record. Someone asks if you're brave enough for the dentist. You have a sticker from the last visit, and you'll be mentioning it. Quietly. Several times. Nobody asked about the sticker. A colleague has a go at your lunch. You hold their gaze and say that you once ate a sandwich past its date. Just the one day. You were fine, apart from the three hours of looking at your phone and waiting. Your mate boasts about a scary film. You counter with the one you watched at twelve, which was rated a bit older, and you slept with the light on only the once. Maybe twice. **Why it caught on:** the picture is SpongeBob SquarePants from the Nickelodeon cartoon, in a scene where he squints and raises one finger as he gives a speech about how tough he is. People filled in the "I'll have you know" line with feeble achievements, set against the grand threat the face suggests, and the template worked for any small act of bravery.